


All Things Go (all things grow)

by Muir_Wolf



Category: Jurassic Park (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Possibly Pre-Relationship, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, subtext? what's subtext?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 01:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13916208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muir_Wolf/pseuds/Muir_Wolf
Summary: Ian would like to comfort him, he really would, but he can feel his own heartbeat drumming along, too fast and too unsteady. Ian would like to comfort him, but if he's being honest, he's always counted on Alan to do the comforting, has done since the moment Alan had lit up that fuse, since Ian, three steps behind but trying to catch up, had lit his own fuse and seen the fear dance across Alan's face.Ian and Alan go to Jurassic World.  (set pre-Jurassic World movie)





	All Things Go (all things grow)

—

Ian leans against the wall, watching Alan pace. It's not that he was hoping to be stopped by security, but it was, admittedly, somewhat disappointing that no one had wanted to question them. Alan had been one long, tense muscle as they bought their tickets, and Ian had finally slid his arm into the crook of Alan's, and tried to will him to relax by brute force. Alan hadn't relaxed, but they hadn't been stopped, either.

They'd waltzed right in to Jurassic World without anyone giving them a second glance.

Alan hasn't stopped since they walked inside, his gaze darting around to capture everything they walk by, his shoulders hunched unbecomingly, ready to be attacked any second, with every step. Ian would like to comfort him, he really would, but he can feel his own heartbeat drumming along, too fast and too unsteady. Ian would like to comfort him, but if he's being honest, he's always counted on Alan to do the comforting, has done since the moment Alan had lit up that fuse, since Ian, three steps behind but trying to catch up, had lit his own fuse and seen the fear dance across Alan's face.

_(It's nice, you know, for someone to want to save him. It's nice that Alan had insisted on coming along when Ian had first announced to him and Ellie that he was going to come out here. Face his fears. See the security for himself. Alan had almost been shaking with what Ian had first assumed was suppressed rage, but Alan's eyes had been so goddamn scared when he put his hand on Ian's shoulder, when he said he was coming with, that Ian couldn't be trusted to go by himself. Still trying to keep him safe all these years later. It'd be charming if being here wasn't so obviously tearing Alan up all over again.)_

Ian wants to reach out and touch him, reach out and stop him. "Alan?" he says, watching Alan pace back and forth, back and forth. He doesn't ask him if he's okay, because how are any of them okay? How could any of them ever be okay, after prehistoric monsters tried to have them for dinner, after Alan got dragged to the second island just like Ian had? After Alan's here, now, because Ian's here, because Ian had to see, and Alan was still too goddamn worried for his own good?

He wants to tell Alan he's fine, but he's not, of course. It's why he'd never told Alan not to come. It's why he'd never told Alan that he'd be okay by himself.

It's a lot of nots and nevers that are lying on Ian's tongue, and that's unlike him, too, so he steps forward. He steps forward, and finally tucks his arm through Alan's again, and Alan stills just as he had when they were in line. Still just as tense. Still just as hunched and worried and scared. Just like Ian is.

_(It isn't fair that Ian, even in his own mind, turned Alan into something that he's not. It's not fair that Ian is only now remembering that he needs to be there for Alan, too. But he's trying. He's trying to remember. He's trying to evolve.)_

"Ian?" Alan says. Alan's voice is very soft, but his back straightens, and unfair or not, Ian knows that Alan would still fight for him.

"Let's start small, first?" Ian says, his voice tilting up into a question. "There's a petting zoo, and I know how much you like kids."

Alan groans, actually groans, and it feels like a weight off of Ian, to see even that annoyed half-smile on Alan's lips.

"I can't believe they have a petting zoo. Don't they have _any_ respect for the—the—"

"Absolutely none," Ian says. He pushes on, eager to see if he can get that smile again. "Not that that's ever mattered before. To be fair, I do also really want to see if you can keep frowning if you're holding a baby dino." He starts walking, which means he also starts practically dragging Alan along.

_(Alan could let go, of course. Alan could break free, of course. Alan could let him walk away on his own, of course._

_Of course, he does none of that.)_

"I don't want to hold a baby dinosaur," Alan says, blatantly lying, although Ian's not sure if he's lying to Ian, or lying to himself.

"Maybe they have a baby triceratops," Ian says, thinking about the last good moments they had had before everything went to shit.

"Maybe they've got a baby raptor that can eat our faces off," Alan says darkly, and Ian watches a few people turn and look at them as they keep moving through the crowds. If the employees at the gate didn't recognize them, Ian's not too worried, although his stress level is already so unbelievably high from being at the park that even if he were it wouldn't really make a difference.

"Maybe!" he just says brightly. Alan glances at him, his eyebrows stating his displeasure and his lips that again unwilling half-smile of annoyed amusement.

He also hasn't said anything about Ian's arm still curled through his.

Maybe he likes the comfort of it as much as Ian does. Maybe the dinosaurs won't eat their faces off. Maybe they'll escape the roll of the dice, this time.

They both know maybe they won't, though. Luck's been a funny thing to them, after all, and they both came here knowing— _knowing_ —that luck eventually runs out.

It's a lot, then, that Alan came anyway.

Ian leads them to the petting zoo, because whatever is going to happen is going to happen, and he wants to coax another smile out of Alan, wants to see him with the baby dinosaurs, wants to remind him, even for a moment, of the sheer joy they had all shared before it had turned to running and terror.

At the very least, he wants to give him that.

—


End file.
